Hey hello.
Made some changes to the layout of my blog. It looks a bit more masculine now though *sigh I have zero creative inspiration at times. Removed the WILD CHILD header because I don't know why I even had that in the first place. Decided to go with the title of my blog which has been the only authentic thing about my blog since 2009.
I also managed to finish my personal monologue. Something happened over the weekend that I had to put down into words, and I found that the monologue was the perfect medium to channel all the wrath and emotions caused by that single event. I was initially planning to publish my entire monologue on this blog when I completed it, but the new one is far more personal, and I don't think I am ready to let the world read it yet. To put it into perspective, I teared up quite a bit when I read it out loud in class for the first time. Some things can pull at your heartstrings no matter where you are or who you're with.
Things have been alright so far. I'd say I'm still caught between kicking back and not giving a shit about anything academic related and the responsibilities that I have as a student. Partied over the last weekend and still planning for more, let gluttony get the best of me and put off everything else that was important. I even slowed down on my kickboxing classes (ok that's an overstatement cause I've only ever been for two classes heh.)
The ADP annual ball is next month. I don't even know how to say this, but the immensity of me wanting, needing my boyfriend in the next month is overwhelming. I'll be 20 in the same week, and I will be attending a ball (that I finally am not part of the organizing committee) that is probably the only thing to celebrate the benchmark I have reached in my college life. Oh how I so desperately wish Arfu could be a part of it all :(
I don't really have anything else to say. Nothing significant has happened, I don't have pretty pictures or an inspirational pep talk to give. Some times I feel bare. Stripped naked of my dreams and given nothing but more reason to give up and settle for less. Is it due to the fact that I might never step foot in the US to study? Or my inability to be focused on something (piano, guitar, reading) to let it grow on me and become something I love? I don't know..
Till the next post.
Au revoir.
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