16. twenty two thousand

Hey hi hello, 

One of the magazines I write for is going to print tomorrow but here I am, writing a blog entry instead. Well, not like they can fire me or anything I'M UNPAID, BITCHES. Ok but really, I have reason and it's because today is a pretty special day to me. Firstly though, I'd like to thank everyone who read my previous entry, commented and shared. I really appreciate it. Now go away. HAHA kidding.

Anyways, today marks the second year my boyfriend and I have been together, and one year, three months and two weeks since the day he got on a flight that changed everything. Our story is a one that could be made into a Nicholas Sparks novel, minus the corny love letters and people who are too gorgeous to be real, honestly. If you know me personally, you might be lucky enough to know more than just "I'm in a long distance relationship", since I normally skip the details when people nose into my relationship status. 

Here's the gist of it though, since we're on the topic. My boyfriend is Somali, living in Kenya. We met in college, when he was doing ADP in Malaysia. His last semester was my first, and to spare you details, we fell in love and yeah, Cupid likes fucking shit up just like that. When he left, there was stupidly (or not) no discussion on whether we were going to do long distance, it merely happened. He came back twice to see me, and to cut the long story short, we're currently both very broke with twenty-two thousand kilometres between us and a five-hour difference in time zone. We don't talk on the phone for obvious reasons, so Skype and Whatsapp are the knights in shining armour.

People often salute and wonder how I manage not seeing, holding, touching my boyfriend for such a long period time. So to commemorate our second anniversary, I'd thought I do a post on my take of what long distance is like. You might want to get the pizza sauce cause there's gonna be a whole lot of cheese.

• It's more than wake me up when September ends. Wake me up when he's back in Malaysia.
• It's a test of your mathematical skills when your daily routine involves counting backwards because of time zones. Sometimes life decides to screw you even more and adds in daylight saving hours. 
• It's clumsily taking off items of your clothing while trying to look sexy at the same time. Mass amounts of pillows, blankets and a tiny webcam in the equation does not spell "are you horny yet?"
• It's multiple attempts of "1-2-3-play!" on movie nights because the Internet wants to make life difficult and it's no fun when you're 2.3 seconds behind him.
• It's a major dependence on your phone data plan because 50 fucking cents per text message will probably make you broke.
• It's not wanting to go to the airport because that was the last place his lips touched yours, where his hands had to let go of yours, and where his every stride across the terminal was a nail in the heartstrings.
• It's a party of doubts, questions and what-ifs in your head when you least need it, especially when those thoughts are planted by friends and family- who no doubt only want to help, but thanks guys, I could do without it.
• It's the worse kind of arguments, because you can't scream at their faces as much as you want ("you massive asshole" can sometimes have the wrong connotations when in text), because "gtfo of my life forever" can so easily become reality, because well, there's no make-up sex.
• It's learning to be absolutely shameless in public because who can turn down "send me a pic, I miss your stupid face" no matter where you are?
• It's (willingly) giving up a lot of friendships and parts of your social life because you'd rather stay indoors and have five hours of Spartacus, football and sexy time.
• It's finding out things about your partner in a different way, because patience, ego, sincerity and being understanding plays a much bigger part in long distance.
• It's listening to people complain about not seeing their other half for like two hours and thinking "kill the weak ones before they lay eggs".
• It's the feeling of anticipation because you know when you're lying next to him in bed once again, and you can't believe what you see every time you open your eyes; the image of perfection, the physical and sexual energy that he radiates, the feeling of your heart swelling back to it's wholesome self, his touch that will send ripples across your soul. He's in front of you, and nothing could be more perfect.

So yeah, there's twelve quirks about being in a long distance relationship. They were written from the top of my head, skimming through the things my boyfriend and I do basically. I wrote him an email (because everything else is too mainstream) last night, pouring my heart and soul and tears and blood, which he promptly forgot to read and did not reply (cause he's an asshole like that). Oh and if you're wondering why there are hipster pictures as opposed to pictures of us instead, it's because we're both camera shy and we're usually too busy having sexenjoying each other's company to take photos. 

Happy second anniversary Abdisalam Gedi. I love you so much. 

Till the next post.

Au revoir.