dance inside.

Currently Listening to : Poker Face by Lady Gaga

Currently Feeling : Dancy?

sometimes the only way to stay sane is to go a little crazy.


Well hello hello :D

I changed my whole blog layout, and I even did the header myself. I know its not very professional or whatever, but I'm still working my way through learning Photoshop :D

Anyway, I have abandoned my blog for a week. But I have a good reason, though, which simply is : I was busy (:

I went for Fly FM's 3rd Anniversary party thing. It was more of a concert than a party but it was still awesome :D
I enjoyed every minute of it with my friends ♥
Bands that performed were Bunkface, One Buck Short, Bittersweet, Estranged, Meet Uncle Hussain and Seven Collar T-Shirt. And the other performers were The KL Stompers, Jaclyn Victor and Faizal Tahir. Some were boo-ed at, but most were perfect :D
It was really nice, despite the stench of sweat from everyone, and the occasional pushing around from the guys who were "moshing". HAHA.
But besides that, I am really glad that I got to meet Mooky from One Buck Short again. And Bunkface's lead singer is hot.

Mooky!

One Buck Short ♥

I Love You, Moooooooky :D

The ever-famous Phat Fabes

Bittersweet

Bunkfaceee (:

Meet Uncle Hussain

Sam definitely had fun (:

So did I ;p

Other than that, I went swimming at dad's place and met some new friends.
Qi, Bing, Hill and I planned a farewell party for Mat. We bought him a shirt from OU and made him a card. I'm so sorry the card was hideous, Mat. I didn't have enough time -.-
We had Korean BBQ in SS2 and spent time at the pool and Beh Beh's place (:
I used his DSLR alot. His Canon EOS 400D to be precise ;p
He taught me a lot of stuff about it, so I understand how to use one much better now.

Mat's DSLR *pictures from his blog ;)

And the other camera pictures are shots of my favourite DSLR, Nikon D80 (:
It costs RM3,288.00, to be exact, mind you.

Ohh and Thursday the 27th is inching closer, and so is Twilight the movie :DD
Just to let everyone know, I'm on team Jacob Black. Simply because he's hot and Edward's just too good to be true. And I have proof that Jacob is hotter than Edward! :p

I mean, just compare THIS :

to THIS :

Ladies, need I say more?
But I'm sorry to say, they totally destroyed his hotness by adding long hair :((((

Cast of Twilight the Movie

In other words, I am dying to watch the movie!

And just because I love him, I'm posting pictures of Chace Crawford. Beauty like his has to be shared with the world :D




But of course, there is no one in the world that I love more than the one and only;

JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE (:

Anyway, I haven't slept yet and its already 6.30 in the morning and I have a dental appointment with my orthodontist later. And Sam just baked muffins and I'm hungry. So till next time, adieu.

Random Note : I spent an hour searching for pics and another hour perfecting this post. HAHA.

Signing off,
Mrs Timberlake :D

Pics credit to : MySpace Celebrity, Wikipedia, FlyFM.com.my & Sya.

A girls heart is full of secrets.

Currently Listening to : Sweet Tangerine - The Hush Sound
Currently Feeling : Body-ache :|

"Maybe we like the pain. Maybe we're wired that way. Because without it.. I don't know, maybe we just wouldn't feel real. What's that saying? Why do I keep hitting myself with a hammer? Because it feels so good when I stop."
- Grey's Anatomy

Hello readers :D

I'm feeling kinda worn out now. I was out the whole day yesterday with friends and Aqil ;)
I went shopping with my sister before meeting up with our friends and I managed to buy a top from Dorothy Perkins. How jealous I am of all those rich bratty kids who can buy 4, 5 tops from each store. No offense to anyone, though. I'm just saying. I wanted to get so many stuff but hey, what can I do, right? Money takde :D

Anyway, I met up with Aqil and he looked so hott in his green shirt. HAHA.
Don't mind me :p
Haha, I love youu gedik. I know you're reading this! :)
And he got me this necklace with a "D" on it. He's sooo sweet!
ILY! ♥

So anyway, school's starting tmrw, and I'm just too lazy to go. But I will coz I miss all my friends. Haha. And school also means exams are coming up and hooray to that :|
I won't be online during the exam season coz my mum will be taking to modem away. So I'll update after the exams. Don't miss me :p

Ohh and I don't have to remind you why I don't have photos for this post, right? :(

Bye and take care. Nerd time people! :D

Random Note : I hate speed bumps on the highways.

Till next time,
denise :)

Make up your mind la!

Currently Listening to : Check Yes Juliet - We The Kings
Currently Feeling : Pissed Off.

SERIOUSLY, IGNORE THE HUGE JUGS AND FAT ARMS :D

Okay, so I finally got a chance to spend the whole day with Aqil and our friends. It was a lot of fun but that's not what I wanted to blog about today.

On the day I went out to meet Aqil, my dad insisted that he took me to KLCC and meet my boyfriend. And YES my parents finally agreed that I was old enough to have a steady boyfriend, as long as studies are first and we don't go over the line. And by that they meant sex. HAHA :)

But anywayyy, all I really cared about was thier approval of Aqil, and since my dad didn't complain much after meeting him, other than the fact that Aqil was Malay, I assumed he was okay with me dating Aqil. Now all was left was for my mum to meet him and for me to get her approval. In fact, I have no idea why I want their approval, I guess it just helps me sleep better at night.

So, from the day I told my parents about Aqil until the day my mum finally gets to meet him, this is what happens. She threatens me. How? Like for example, that night when I was on the phone with Aqil at about 1am plus, when it was a freaking weekend and the whole damn house was awake, she said that if Aqil continues calling at night like this, she'll get the wrong impression of him and I can forget about seeing him. I was seriously WTF-ed at that time.

Again, just now, (its5.30amnowI'llexplainlater) I was super savers-ing with Aqil when she walking in on us and said, "Denise, what did I say about talking on the phone in the middle of the night? Give me your phone now." So I had to hang up, and turn off my phone and give it to her. It's okay, I understand, it WAS my fault, after all. But the thing I can't stand most was that later, in her room, she told my sister the same thing.

"If Aqil continues calling in the middle of the night, I'm going to get the wrong impression of him" WTFFF I'm so phucking shit pissed off about this man.

Why? Look, if she really sincerely wants to give us her approval, then okay. But if she keeps saying stuff like that, it only seems like its an obligation on my part for her to give us her approval. I don't know if that makes sense but what I'm trying to say in simple words is, if she wants to like him, then like him. If she doesn't want to, then just say it to my face. I'm not rolling on the floor crying my eyes out for her approval, I just would appreciate it if I could get it. I don't understand why she has to give me such a hard time when all I want to do is just have some fun with a guy that I really really like.

Ohh and btw, about the part where I explain why it's 5.30am, I just had my braces done. My dentist changed the wires and they effing hurt like shit right now. I can't sleep at all plus the fact that Aqil is most probably freaking out as to why my phone's turned off without explanation :D

Forgetting everything, Aqil and I made plans to study at the National Library next weekend so I can pull up my grades. My mum said if I'm failing this year-end exams, she's taking away my phone and modem. No way that's happening man, I'll go crazy. So yeah, Aqil's offered to help me study coz did I mention that HE'S A FREAKING GENIUSSS?? He's got like almost straight A's for his mid-term exam. Shit you, Aqil. HAHAHAHA.

Ohhh and raya's coming up, he invited me to his house to meet his parents. HAHAHA takot oh ;D

the truth

Currently Listening to : Unbreakable - Fireflight
Currently Feeling : Very full o.O

Okay, I'm here to finally clear the air about my relationship with Hafis, the boy that I apparently loved so much, and who apparently loved me too.

The truth is :

I was a third person.

Yep, I was. I didn't want to be. I felt disgusted with myself the whole time. I knew it would just kill the other girl. But he promised he would leave her, and I was naive enough to trust him and became vulnerable to all his words. I did many things for our relationship to work. None of which I will mention. But NOOO it had nothing to do with sex okay. HAHAHA.

But anyway, he never really treated me nicely. I was constantly crying myself to sleep like an idiot, thinking about the last hurtful remark he made at me. We hardly spoke to each other, and when we did it was only briefly. We didn't message much coz he didn't like texting. I can go on and on about why we weren't a happy couple.

After two months together, I knew it in my heart that he won't leave her. So I ended it. Being a third person in his relationship took a huge emotional toll on me. What was worse is that I could see his girlfriend writing all those sad stuff about him cheating on her on her MySpace. And I could imagine the hurt I would feel if I were in her shoes.

So yeah, I left him. And now he hates me. Well I can't blame him really. I DID promise never to leave him bla bla bla but I just couldn't take the way he was treating me and also the fact that he was probably using me to break up with his girlfriend. So yeah, he hates me, and never wants to see my face ever again. He also regrets knowing me and he'll never want to meet anyone like me again. I'm a liar, and can never be trusted again. And NO, there's no way we shall ever be friends again.

Damn, I must suck big time.

All those things he said to me after the break up really hurt me and bruised my big fat ego so I cried quite a lot. But there was this guy who was there for me. He called me and talked to me and assured me that everything was going to be okay.

He's been a friend for almost 6 months but we've never met. He's really sweet and the most caring person I know. So we finally decided to meet up. He turned out to be really tall, nicely built, sweet smile, blurrish face, cute hair. HAHAHA. Okay, getting to the point.

He said he has had a crush on me for a long long time. And honestly? I felt the same for him, I just didn't realise it.

Oh and guess what? He asked me to be his girlfriend and kissed me after that ;DDD
I can't tell you how happy I was :)

So yeah, you may think whatever it is you want to think of me, but yes, I have a new boyfriend. Mohammad Aqil, you're the only one for me.

Deezastrous :)

Currently Listening to : The sound of the fan.
Current Mood : Excited! :)

How unlucky of me to not have a camera on the day that JAPANESE STUDENTS VISIT MY SCHOOL. Yes, there were 16 students from Japan visiting my lousy screwed-up school which miraculously became not-so ugly after hearing news of these "visitors". We had a whole day gotong-royong yesterday, repainting walls and replacing things that needed to be replaced. Just for these cute Jap students. I was really really excited as MY CLASS was chosen to chaperon these students around the school. As soon as they got off the bus, my heart leaped when I saw how smallish and cute these Jap girls were. There were 15 girls and one miserable boy. HAHA. But anyway, we got around to making friends with them eventually but it was difficult coz they didn't understand much English.

My school was nice enough to get the Zapin, Dikir Barat, Kompang, Silat and even the traditional Indian dance groups to perform for our guests. They didn't really seem to enjoy it though. Haha. But then after the performances, THEY CHANGED into their kimonos and did a routine too. IT WAS SO CUTE! I WAS SO OMGWTF-ED AND BAFFLED! They looked like they could hardly walk in their kimono while doing their own cultural dance. Then after makan we taught them how to play congkak and some Sarawak game. After spending three hours mostly signing autographs and taking pictures, they left :(


My schoolmates took loads and loads of pictures with these girls. I managed to get some emails and phone numbers. But I can't imagine myself trying to explain what I'm saying to them over the phone -.- But I was seriously damn pissed coz I didn't have my own camera to take pictures with them. So I tried to squeeze in as many pictures as I could. I will uploads asap. They have really cute names too, some that I remember are, Areesha, Nachika, Natsumi, Anni, Naoko, and Naomi ;)

So that was today. I had lots of fun and I'm really tired now. *Sigh how I miss my camera. Those girls were really really cute. Oh, and if you're wondering bout that one miserable guy, he was NOT HOT like those Jap guys you know. HAHA KESIAN HIM.

Anywayyy, you know that guy I like from church? I gave up coz I realised that I don't stand a chance coz I hardly see him, and also he already likes someone else. I'd hate to be a third person. BUT there's also another reason. There's this guy I met through a friend, and we're really close. I DID like him but not as much as I like the guy from church. This guy was really nice to me, and I could tell that he really cared. Last month, he asked me "the question". AND I SAID YES :)
SO YAY, a new relationship. I really really hope this lasts. I LOVE YOU, HAFIS!

Oh, yeah. He's Malay :)

lovelovelove,
Denise ;)

the difference

I don't know if any of you have noticed , but there's a difference in my old blog , and my new one . Yeah , there is . Not in the way I write , or how often I update , but a difference in me . It's something big , it's something that represents how I chose to live my life . I changed , because of a reason .

If you're wondering what this huge fuss is about , and you haven't already realised , I used to be a HUGE bitch . Yeah , a bitch . That's because I used to change my crushes like I was changing underwear . I would talk and rant about a guy for a week or so ( and NO , that's not how often I change underwear ! ) , then when I tell him I like him but he doesn't like me back , or I just get bored , I'll just move on to the next available , good-looking guy . Really , the thought of that kind of attitude makes me disgusted at my own self .

And what changed me ? This was what changed me .

There was this new guy in our school earlier this year . He was tall , extremely good-looking, a shuffler ( I liked shufflers at that time hahahaha ) , and he hung out with my group of friends at that time . At first , we were just friends , we hardly spoke to each other except when we occasionally asked each other to belanja something ( if that makes any sense at all ! ) . I would steal glances at him as many times as I could , and I found myself really enjoying his company .

Then there was the day , it a Saturday and our school had the Annual co-curriculum meeting . So my sister and I went , but we did mostly lepaking at the playground near our school . In this playground , was a concrete landing where we all sat laughing and joking around . Then someone put on some shuffle music and the above said guy started shuffling away . My best friend asked me to join , so I did ( yes , amazingly enough I can shuffle without falling or looking like a fool , yay ! ) . We all ended up landing on top of each other laughing . When the guy helped me up , that was it . I felt that stupid spark telling me I officially liked him . And I know it was such a stupid thing to fall for , but it must have been something in the way he looked at me .

Over the next few days , we would talk even more and spend more time with each other even though we were in different classes . Then there was one day , I told my best friend , who also happened to be closest to him at this point , that I liked him . So being the blabber mouth my friend was , he told that guy I liked him . After that , I tried as much as I could to avoid him , I had no idea why , I usually liked to spend more time with the guy I liked . But anyway , one day , his sister told MY sister that he likes me too . I was really really happy .

Then , one day in a packed corridor after recess , I walked pass him and he called out to me . He said that he wanted to meet me after school , at the usual place we hang out at . I was super stunned and I just stammered out an "Okay." . He prolly thought I looked weird standing with an O on my face . But ANYWAY , after school , I rushed out of the class and half walked , half ran to the place . I sat next to him and asked what was up . He asked why have I been avoiding him and my heart fluttered at the thought that he noticed I have been avoiding him . And I couldn't answer so I just smiled and looked down .

So we talked for quite a bit when he finally popped the question. This was how it went.

HE ME

So , Ezrul told me you liked me . Is that true ?
Erm , did he ?
Yeah he did. *smiles that stupid smile that had got me into this situation*
Well , I guess I kinda do.
Oh really , that's awesome.
Haha yeah , it is .
Okay , I'm just gonna get to the point , I like you too , so will you be my girlfriend ?
*FAINTS*

Okay , no I didn't faint , but I felt like it . Anyway , of course I said YES ! Btw , the conversation was in Malay , I just translated it .

So the first two weeks were just amazing . He said he was in love with me , I was just on top of the world . After a while , I made the biggest mistake ever . I fell in love with him too . He was c o n s t a n t l y on my mind , and I would spent every waking second without him thinking about when I was going to see him again . I loved the moments we were together , holding hands and him telling me how cute I was while pinching my cheeks . I was seriously in love . I told him everything about me and he told me everything about him , including that he smokes . My picture was on him MySpace and his picture was on mine . We called each other everyday and sat together everyday in the canteen . We were kinda inseparable . And lots of people hated it . People talked about us and some girls really bitched about me . But hey , I didn't care , they were just jealous .

Then there was Sports Day . A few days before that , he was already showing signs of being bored with me so I tried my best to make him happy . But during the whole of Sports Day in the stadium , he totally ignored me . I couldn't take it so I walked up to him while he was playing a game on his phone .

ME HE

Hey you.
Yeah, hey. *without looking up from his game*
What's wrong ? Are you okay ? I'm kinda worried about you.
It's nothing, Dee, I'm fine .
Really , then , why are u avoiding me ?
I'm sorry.
Is that it ?
Yeah , I'm playing my game, can you talk to me later?
Well , you've been playing your dumb game the whole day , can we talk now?
*looks up*
Thank you.
Can I help you ?
I'm your GIRLFRIEND , why are you doing this ?
I'm sorry Dee.
What, do you wanna break up ?
*looks down* Do you ?
Well , no , unless there's a perfectly good reason.
I think I'm not ready for a relationship Dee.
Why ? Did I do something wrong? Please , I love you.
No , Dee , its got nothing to do with you , I love you too .
Then WHY ?
I don't know , I just can't be with you.
What ? Cos other people don't like us together ?
Kinda .
Why do you care bout what they think ?
I don't know Dee, I just DO . Is it okay that we break up ?
Well , I don't see logic in staying in a relationship with you when you already don't want me , so fine .
It's not that I don't like you anymore , I still do , I just can't be with you.

So that was it . The rest was just us agreeing to still be friends and me running off 5 minutes later to the toilet crying my eyes out .

But months past after that , and we never spoke a WORD to each other , I couldn't even be in the same place as him , let alone look at him . And the worst part about it was that my best friend just broke up with MY SISTER so it was kind of awkward to see him . We were all just falling apart . And I still wasn't over him .

Three months later , I found myself being more comfortable around him than I was , and I didn't mind hanging out with my best friend again . Things were getting back to normal , but I still knew I still wasn't over him . This was because , I knew if he coupled with someone else , it would just kill me . Finally , the time came when he did , he was with this girl he met at during Zapin . She was average , and kinda unknown so people didn't talk about them . HAHA I know that is really perasanted of me , indirectly saying that I was known , but its the TRUTH . Haha .
But strangely enough , I didn't find myself falling apart , or crying my heart out cos he was with someone else . I was actually happy that he was . I was over him .

So NOW , I'm kinda lazy to like anyone just as much . I'm fine with being friends but nothing more . Although , there IS this guy I met at church that I really enjoy being with . We'll just let time tell huh :)

Anyway , I know this was a really cheesy love story to you ( if you read any of it at all ) but it was big enough to change me . I fell in love and it broke me . But I'm okay now so thank God :)