Harder Than You Know,

Currently Listening to : Harder Than You Know - Escape The Fate
Currently Feeling : Relieved the day is over -.-

Well hello, today was just a horror.

Let's begin with the fact that I had woken up late for school again, and I had definitely missed the bus. Usually, my grandpa would take me, but he wasn't around this fateful morning. And what a morning for him to not be around. I had to go to school because this would be the third time I skipped school because I woke up late after my maid had left.

Anyway, I had the fastest bath ever and practically flew the brush over my teeth. I was ready in record time, but it wasn't fast enough. My mum had been frantically calling me from her dialysis centre for half an hour so I called her back, saying that I'm late and how the hell am I gonna get to school? Of course, my mum being my mum, she scolded first, discussion later. So I just said, mum, I know I'm late, but I'm up now, can you scold me later? HAHA.

She said she can't help me since she had already started dialysis. I had to call the bus driver back, but I knew he wouldn't come to just take me. So my mum suggested asking my other neighbors. I have two willing neighbors, both Chinese. Bad news was, both of them were out. I had to ask my other neighbor, an Indian man, someone who I hardly saw or spoke to. Anyways, I woke my sister up since she was supposed to lock the doors then go back to sleep after I left. I said she could sleep on the sofa while I found transport and that's when she snapped at me and said she wanted to sleep. Well I couldn't blame her so I just said fine. But when I got to the kitchen to prepare my Milo, I suddenly felt this funny feeling washing over me.

The next thing I knew, I was on the floor, crying and feeling alone. I don't know what that was, I think I might have just been helpless to myself and also upset that I couldn't get myself to school on my own without trouble.

At 6.50am, 20 minutes late from my bus pick-up time, I looked out and saw my Indian neighbor leaving to send his son and wife to the ERL station. This was routine, and I knew he would be back in about 15 minutes or so. So I put on my shoes, finalized everything and woke my sister again. I stood outside my neighbor's house, waiting for him to come home. I stood there like an idiot for about 10 minutes wondering if I had been polite to him the whole four years and three months I've known him, and arranging sentences to say when I was going to ask him.

However, he didn't show up after 15 minutes. At 7.15, I had begun to pace around. I had 15 minutes to ask him to send me, and get to school. Getting to school took 9 minutes with no traffic, around 12 minutes when an old man drives. When he finally arrived at 7.25, I walked up to him and asked him as politely as I could while showing a muka sepuluh sen. Trust me, that wasn't easy. He reluctantly agreed, as I could see the reluctance in his face. He had to change first, and I was just dying to get to school as soon as possible.

The drive was not as torturous as I thought it would be, we actually talked about stuff, and not the weather. HAHA. I got to school, but I was late coz of the extremely slow drive he took. But anyway, the punishment was not bad, I just had my name taken down.

Later after school and extra class, I took a bus down to Nilai for tuition. I met up with a friend on the bus, coincidentally, and we went to the nearest mamak since we were still early for tuition. I was really tired, and I was glad to be home at 8.00pm.

Oh, and to top it all of, I was having a pretty bad hair day -.-

right round,

Currently Listening to : Thinking of You - Katy Perry
Currently Feeling : Dissapointed :/

I LOVE BUNKFACE :O

Today might be the last day I'll be wearing braces. I find that kinda sad.

What else is sad is that, life has been all about school lately. Extra classes, softball, editorial board stuff, school photography, it's all really tiring me out.
But I'm hanging on strong, I know what I'm doing all this for.

Anyway, remember how I said that my uncle would help me get my camera, and I would pay him back? Well, it seems I'm a spoilt child, and I don't need such an expensive camera. I was totally blown away when I heard that. First things first, I am SO not spoilt, trust me, I know what being spoilt is like, and I am not one of those girls. And, I know that the camera of my choice if expensive, but didn't I say I would pay him back? And it's not like I haven't spent a horde of time deciding which camera would be best. Oh yes, I have. 3 years is time enough.

And plus, someone in my family mentioned that I couldn't possibly be good enough to be a photographer, and it doesn't matter what camera one uses, it's the skill one posesses. I can't express how dissapointed I am in my extended family. I'm totally speechless and I just don't ever feel like going back to see them and pretend to have a sincere smile on my plastered face.

Random Note : Last night, I dreamt about going to college. Yeah, scary, I know -.-

Filling an empty space,

Currently Listening to : Halo - Beyonce
Currently Feeling : A thump thump thumping headache!

HEY HELLO HI ;D

I know, I know. I've absolutely, completely abandoned my blog. I'm sorry, I've been kinda busy and honestly? I didn't really have anything to inspire me to blog. HAHA. Oh well, the great thing is, I'm BACK. And hopefully I'll last longer this time ;)

Honestly, nothing has changed much since the last time I blogged properly. School is still school, friends are still friends. I come online often, but I just MySpace most of the time. I don't really have much of a life nowadays since my dad took my phone away on New Year's Day. It's a long story and let's just all pretend that the reason is because of my upcoming SPM exams.

School has been extremely tiring. Softball season has started again and I'm staying back at school everyday for extra classes. I'm literally spending more time in school than at home. But oh well, I keep telling myself it's just for this year and then, freedom! Hoho. Anyway, other than that, nothing much really. Sports day came and left, my house got first placing. I contributed a bit, I ran 4x100m, 100m, 200m and long jump + perfect attendance for house practice ;)

I still haven't got my D-SLR camera HAHA. I've been scheming up ways to get one, I really just can't seem to save up my own money. So, I've finally asked my uncle to help me get one, I'll pay him back as soon as I start working after SPM. I'm really excited, I'm hoping I can get it in a week's time or so. I felt it was kinda wasted that I couldn't get to use it for my Sports Day, the school mag pictures would have been clearer. Oh btw, I made Chief Editor, yay me :p

By the way, my maid went back to Indonesia recently, and just two days before that, RM1000+ from my sister and I's combined Chinese New Year money was stolen. We couldn't point fingers at anyone since we had no proof, but who else could it be right? I was pretty upset since I was looking forward to spending that money on my much needed sneakers and cardigan. Oh well, shit happens eh.

Another chapter of my life happened recently, in fact just this morning. I had my Grade 8 Theory of Music exam in SMK Sri Aman and let me tell you this, I am SO relieved that it's over. I stayed over Ms Beh's place and totally hardcored this past few days. I am so last minute -.-
Oh, and I had a haircut the day before yesterday and it is h-o-r-r-i-b-l-e! It's too short and the "stylist" gave me bangs which my round and fat face looks terrible with! Goshh, I'm so glad my hair grows fast :/

Anyway, did anyone watch the game last weekend? I sure did. Manchested United vs Liverpool. The much talked about awaited game of the season. I supported Liverpool since I'm anti-Man Utd :D I can't express how much joy I felt when it was a 4-1 win for Liverpool. 3-1 was bad enough, 4-1 is just embarrasing. And the funny thing is, my friends who are hardcore supporters of Man Utd totally refuse to admit that Man Utd sucks, saying that the hero loses first and stuff like that. Hoyeah, I agree with Hafiz, Man Utd supporters are totally stuck-up :p

Okay, I should prolly stop now before I finish everything in one post. Haha.
Till the next post, lots of love,
Denise ;)

Random Note : Allison Iraheta rocks!

The Big Oh-Nine

Currently Listening to : 1234 - Plain White Tees
Currently Feeling : Happy :D

Hey ho, Happy New Year!
How was everyone's new year?
Mine was at the Curve and it was just awesome! There was a lot of people though but still, everyone was great. The fireworks were awesome, as usual.
I don't want to go on and on about how awesome it was, you should have been there yourself :)
Pictures will be uploaded later.

Anyway, its the new year. Some people are saying that 2009 is just a number. I say they should cheer up and move on. It's a new year! Start new, forgive and forget. Why hang on to the past when you can have a great future? You're just being silly if you think everything will be the same. Do something to change it then!

In fact, I'm really excited about starting Form Five. Not about SPM though. I just can't wait till high school is over and move on to college and start driving. HAHAH. I've got a lot more responsibility now and I really hope I can live up to it. My parents are depending on me to do well for SPM so I can apply for a scholarship. I'm depending on myself too. I just need proper time management *sighs.

Oh, and stay in school people! ;)

To finish things off, I got tagged by Gwen <3 style="font-weight: bold;">Rules and regulations
Do not copy answers
The tag questions must be 100% the same.
Tag people after doing tag.
No tagging back

Tagged by Gwendoline ;)

I tag ...
1) Khei Qi
2) Kevin
3) Justina
4) Mathew
5) Hsu Wern
6) Alyssa
7) Audrey
8) Mei Yen
9) Tze Wei
10) Li Bing hahah!


How do you know 1?
From piano class. It's been four years already :)

What would you do if you never meet 2?
I'd probably be much happier! HAHAHA kiddingggg!

What would you do if 3 & 4 dated you?
Oh, erm I don't know.

Do you think 7 is attractive?
Hoyeahhh :)

Do you know anything about 8’s family?
Only her sister. heh.

What language does 2 speaks?
Tamil and Tagalog only. Which is why he sucks x)

Who is 3 going out with?
Ken-Ji HAHAHAHA!

How old is 4?
17 this year.

When was the last time you talked to 5?
About 2 weeks or so.

Who is 6's favourite singer?
I have no idea!

Would you date number 7?
Hahah yeah, anytime!

What is number 9 last name?
Young Tze Wei :D

Would you consider being in a relationship with 1?
Anyday.

Which school does 2 go to?
SOME STOOOOOOPID SCHOOL IN NEW ZEALAND!
Heh. Sorry, I just miss you, retard :')

Why isn't there anything about 10? :(

Hot N' Cold

Currently Listening to : I Wanna - The All American Rejects
Currently Feeling : Boredd!

This week has been an absolute B O R E! I haven't done anything productive at all. I haven't went Christmas shopping because parents have been too busy to take me. I haven't finished my homework because I lost my pencil box (seriously!) and I need to clean my room but I've never bothered to.

There's really nothing much to blog about since all I've been doing is watching TV, reading, going online, eating, sleeping, and more eating. But still, I can't wait for Christmas to come.

I've also made up my mind to save up for my own D-SLR camera. So all I want for Christmas is money, money and more money! xD
I've decided to get the Canon EOS 400D or 450D which is much cheaper than my previous choice, Nikon D80. I've used loads of my friends cameras and I found that using Canon was much easier for me and the picture quality was much more awesome :D
Honestly, I'm really glad that I've taken this much time (around1 year and a half, to be precise) to decide on what camera I want. I'm also really thankful to all my friends who helped me learn how to use one, and told me which camera would be best for me.

And now, since I've been complaining to my mum on how bored I've been this week, she's taking us to watch 'The Day The Earth Stood Still'. Gotta go get ready now. Toodles ♥

Random Note : The MV for Gives You Hell by The All American Rejects doesn't make any sense at all -.-

Rock-hard floors and too little blankets.

Currently Listening to : The dialogue of "A Cinderella Story"
Currently Feeling : Hyper and sleepy at the same time? :)

"Waiting for you, is like waiting for rain in this drought. Useless and disappointing."
- A Cinderella Story

I'm lying on the floor with 5 other girls while A Cinderella Story is playing on TV. Chad Michael Murray ♥, hoyeahh :)
Most of them are already sleeping so it's just me blogging and Nicole watching with me. It's about 4 in the morning and I'm kinda sleepy.

Just a quick update on what I did today;
I went shopping at Bangsar with my sister today. Mama and Papa gave me RM100 each so I was really happy. I bought a dress for RM34.90 coz it was on sale from Baci. I got 50% off :DD
I also bought shoes from Vincci in One Utama. A pair of gorgeous white wedges and a pair of blue-beige stilettos. Both for RM80 which I think is a great deal.

I would take pictures, but then again, you know. no camera :(

All worked-out.

Currently Listening to : Mirotic - DBSK
Currently Feeling : Extremely tired.

Oh yes, I have changed my blog layout, again. I just couldn't make up my mind about what I wanted. & I also have not been updating. Sorry :x

So, this week has been absolutely hectic. I crashed at 3 different places. I lugged around my bag filled with clothes for a week. And because of that, the clothes I wore were always crumpled up or had a musty smell :/ But anyway, I stayed over at Khei Qi's place for a night to help out with the booklet and door gifts. The next night was at Beh Beh's place, also to help out.

Then, I went to my aunt's place to help out at my cousin's pet shop. They had moved from their previous location and were opening soon somewhere else. So I helped out with cleaning out the mess and stuff. It was very tiring and I actually slept early every night. Then, I went back to Beh Beh's place and stayed for another night. I practiced my piece that I was going to play for the concert.

The booklet, door gift and performance is for Ms Beh's tri-annual charity recital. It's a big thing so I've been helping out as much as I could. I have to get a new dress and shoes for my preformance since the dress code is semi-formal/smart casual. But anyway.

I also went for Twilight on 27th Nov, of course. We had bought a total of 21 tickets for 21 people. It was awesome. A lot of parts were cut out though and Rob Pattison is still not hot to me :D

Okay, enough for one post. Here are some pictures (:

My newest niece, Megan Roselyn Lim :)


My favourite cat of all, Igor!

In a plastic bag :)

& with the sexiest pose he could ever give ;p
showing off his fatness :p

My nephew, Cian David Horsely Ling. Looks cute when he's asleep right?

Even cuter when he's awake ;p
"How bout a cute face for Auntie Dee?"

"Aww, you're so adorable darling :DD"

I love you (:

Awwwwwww (:

Random Note : Sorry I sound so dead in this post. I'm really tired :|

Everything's been such a drag.

Currently Listening to : About A Girl - The Academy Is...
Currently Feeling : Bored to tears :'(

"And after a while you learn that you don't need anyone else in order to survive. No one is ever going to always be there, no matter what they say or what they promise you. You just gotta suck it up, accept it and keep on keepin' on."
- Hey Arnold

Heyy everyone (:

It's been a week of holidays and I tell you, I have been so bored!
Everything is so repetitive. I sleep and wake up at odd hours, like sleeping at 5am then waking up at 6pm. Or sleeping at 10pm and waking up at 6am. Yes, terrible, I know.
I even stayed awake for 36 hours, just for fun.
I go online, I eat, sleep and watch endless TV. I have even picked up my cross-stitch (yes, it's one of those 'grandma' things) that I started back in Form One. Its been four years since I started this project and its finally showing some result (:
As for school homework, I hardly bothered to complete them. My teachers will most probably forget like always.
I'm also excited yet saddened at the same time about starting Form Five next year. Goshh, I still can't believe how time is literally flying by.

Anyway, the only action I get is during the weekends. And those are quite repetitive too. I meet up with Aqil on Saturdays, may or may not go for Teenacity, then I'm home watching TV again. On Sundays I'm at Beh Beh's place having a few laughs with my friends and then I'm home again unless my parent (whichever one I'm staying with for the weekend) decides to go somewhere for something.
Here I am trying to make everyday its best but it keeps backfiring on me. I want to work during the hols but I have no transport since I practically live in the middle of nowhere. Then again, knowing me, I'll probably quit halfway anyway (:


Anyway, Mathew will be leaving on Monday :(
I'm so gonna miss him. I'll miss all those moments when we were bimbo or horny with each other. Kevin, Bing, Qiqi, Hill, Mat and me. I love these people man.
Dude, I know you hardly read my blog but I've just got to say this, I love you man, and there's definitely no regrets when we became friends. It's been almost two years already and I'll miss you to bits. Kevin has already left us all stranded so you better come back and see us ;p
And don't forget your SLR HAHAHAHAH ;D

Anyway, I customized my blog a bit, coz I was getting bored of the previous look. I spent about an hour searching for a new blogskin but I decided it would be too much of a hassle rather than just making a few tweaks.

One of the other things I've been doing online this week was looking at new movies coming soon. I was so excited when I saw Inkheart the movie trailer!
It's a book I read when I was Form One or Two when my cousin brought it back from England for me. It's about a man, Mo, who can breathe life into everthing that he reads. Then he discovers his daughter has the same magic. Only, he never reads out loud again because he lost his wife when he was reading aloud to her. She got sucked into the book, into another world. When Dustfinger, one of the characters Mo read into reality came to find him, Meggie (I think that's the daughter's name) and Mo have to go into the book to save her mother :)
I have no idea if what I just said made any sense at all, but do watch the movie when its released. Hehe.
I already read Inkspell, the sequel but I seriously can't wait for Inkheart, due for release in Jan 09.

AND TWILIGHT IS COMING! 27 NOV 27 NOV 27 NOV!
I'm soooo excited. I'll be booking tickets, so whoever wants to watch with me, just let me know (:

Okay, I think that's enough excitement and blabs for one post.
I'm going to Fly FM's party in a few hours, so yay, finally some fun (:

Ohh and good luck to my Form 5 friends taking SPM (:
I know I'm kinda late but oh well.

Random Note : AD and Fuzzie are FINALLY out! * does victory dance* ;p

xoxo, denise (:

When we look back now will our jokes still be funny?

Currently Listening to : Kelsey - Metro Station
Currently Feeling : Nostalgic? ;)

"As we go on
We remember
All the times we
Had together
And as our lives change
Come Whatever
We will still be
Friends Forever"

- Graduation by Vitamin C






Today was the last day of school for 2008. I really can't believe that Form Four is over. So much has happened. Photography, skipping classes, exams, boring assembly(s), dating in school, incomplete homework, all memories that will never fade. I loved Form Four ;)

It has been yet another year of my life that has passed. I'm still studying in a school I don't really like but I'm still friends with people I love. The year literally seemed to just fly by. It feels like it was just last week when it was the first day as a Form Four, and yesterday seemed like half a year has already gone by. Its already November :|

So what significance this year was in my short life of sixteen years?
Here are a few things that leaves a mark ;

1. I managed to be the photographer for my school. Hopefully they'll ask me to be Head Editor next year ;)
2. I had four relationships. HAHA.
3. I actually convinced my Malay, non English-speaking friends to improve their English by reading the Twilight series. Now they can't wait for the movie to premiere.
4. I made a lot of new friends. So many that I can't remember their names ;p
5. I think I've matured mentally and definitely physically x)
6. I had 3 hamsters, a cat and a dog.
7. School exams were not a pleasant thing.
8. I chopped my hair after 2 years.
   
9. My 11 month old camera was stolen at Summer Splash :(
10. Daddy moved to a new apartment. Goshh it's been a year already.

As for things that I wanted to do but never got the chance to ;

1. Cook without complaining about the heat.
2. Buy an SLR camera.
3. Start learning Lukisan Kejuruteraan. I'm starting next year. Hopefully.
4. Pass Add Maths -.-
5. Travel to Miami/Paris.
6. Finish my Grade 7 practical.
7. Go to church more often :|
8. Lose weight ;p
9. Finish Gossip Girl season 1.
10. Read Breaking Dawn.
    

Time is flying realy quickly. Everything is happening in such a huge blurr. Are you living everyday to its fullest? I know I haven't. Most days were spent online, eating and sleeping. I never really did anything productive and my year end exams were not easy.

I just wish time would slow down for me to do the things I want to do while still in high school before the real stress starts pouring in. Sighs*

Live your life to the maximum, people! ;)

Some things are just not meant to be.

Currently Listening to : If I Were A Boy - Beyonce
Currently Feeling : Lethargic

"If you can't laugh at yourself, life's gonna seem a whole lot longer than you'd like. What do ya do? You laugh, you know, I'm not saying I don't cry... but in between... I laugh."
- Garden State

I haven't updated for a week :D

HEYY!
How was Halloween for everyone? I spent it at home watching The Simpsons :)

But anyway, my week has been quite eventless. I went out on Saturday with friends and all. And that was pretty much it.

I fought with Aqil though. I hope we can pull through. Maybe I'm just not meant to be in a relationship yet. I can't seem to be satisfied. I know its unfair to him for me to be so selfish. But I'm just not happy. I'm trying, I really am. But I don't know :(

Other than that, my dearest grandpa was robbed outside my grandma's place. The two Indian robbers slashed his head and took his phone and money. Such a horrible thing to do to a man of his age, isn't it? He was already inside the house porch but they still came in to rob him. He had over 30 stitches and 2 torn arteries. But he's fine now :D

I also saw a small kid steal a bottle of Coke when I was waiting in the car for my mum. He had already paid for the stuff he needed. And as he was walking away he looked kinda doubtful. Suddenly, he turned around and went to the store's fridge and took out a bottle of Coke. He glanced around quickly and put the bottle into his plastic bag. The store owner didn't see because he was dealing with some other customers. I was laughing my head off. I was looking at the boy because he was my friend's younger brother and he was really cute. I wasn't really surprised though. That boy has 8 siblings altogether and they're really poor. Why not enjoy a bottle of Coke for free, eh?

So yeah, those were the very few unimportant events in that happened this week.
I have one more day of exam tmrw :D
I can't wait for the holidays to come. And good luck to all SPM candidates ;)

Denise (:

Beauty is made of complete chaos.

Currently Listening to : Miss Independent - Ne-Yo

Currently Feeling : Excited :p

now I don't like using words like forever but I will love you
until the end of today, and in the morning when I remember
everything you are, I know I'll fall for you all over again.

HELLO EVERYONE :D

I'm back!, and I would like to apologize for not blogging for such a long time. And I would also like to apologize for such a heartbreaking post before abandoning my blog :p

Anyway, things are looking just great.
Some top things to be happy about :

1. Exams are almost over, I only have one more subject to go
2. Aqil and I hit 2 months last Monday
3. I went to church after 2-3 months :p
4. I've fully recovered from coming-and-going fevers
5. I'm alive? ;D

Anyway,

My house had no water for a few days, a few weeks back. That was seriously some nightmare. It was like living in a cave. Okay, maybe it wasn't that bad but try not bathing and washing your hair for 3 days and tell me how you feel about that :p

But anyway, that's over and I'm glad my house if fully fueled with water. I was having a fever for a few days last week too, during my exams. I skipped school on Thursday and have to retake my Moral exam this week, on Friday. I don't actually have any exams this week so technically I don't have to go to school at all seeing its the Deepavali holidays. Speaking of which, HAPPY DEEPAVALI to everyone, although I don't think anyone who reads my blog celebrates but oh well, its Malaysia, right? :p

I spent the weekend with my dad this week. I went to the Curve and spent about RM100 plus buying clothes for my mum, my sister and myself :D I had fun though, I hardly get to spend money shopping anyway. Its always window shopping. Anyway, there goes another batch of money I was supposed to be "saving" for my camera. Haha.

Gosh, I really find it weird that I really want this camera but I just can't seem to keep the money to buy it. I thought about asking all my family members to skip buying me stuff for Christmas which usually end up under my bed without use, and all pitch in to buy me a SLR camera. But I'm not sure I should coz it costs quite a lot. Oh well. Just a thought.

Just something random,

My father is that sort of person who jokes with the waiter/waitress to make their job harder/easier. He's also the sort of person that is really protective over my sister and I that he finds the idea of leaving us alone in a shopping complex without parental supervision absolutely absurd and impossible. Oh, I mean I totally understand with what, all those creepy rapists walking around Pavillion and all those kidnappers waiting to jump on Sam and I at every corner. Geez. C'mon, I guess its okay to take precautions but being overprotective? Nevermind, I could go on all day about this.

Random Note : I used to think that only adults were allowed to used pens. Apparently they don't make silly mistakes.

Lovelovelove,
Denise ;)

The only people that tear happy people down are those that are unhappy.

Currently Listening to : Hot 'N Cold - Katy Perry
Currently Feeling : Confused :(

"How can I fix my life if I don't even know where I went wrong?"

Sometimes when you're telling someone else what's on your mind; a problem, a mistake or whatever it is, that someone would say, "Oh, I know how you feel, I understand", or something like that, right? Well, if they say it, and they DON'T understand how you feel, are they helping? The only way to understand how someone feels in a situation, is to have gone through that kind of ordeal. Which is why you should always say, "I'm not gonna say I know how you feel, coz I don't". All I'm trying to say is, be honest when you're helping someone. Just putting up a caring face without sincerity will just add oil to the fire.

Sometimes when you get cut, you bleed and you hurt. You add all sorts of medicine to make the pain go away. After awhile the cut will heal itself, but there will always be a scar. And sometimes things that happen will remind you of how you got cut in the first place.

Is it the same with heartbreaks? You cry and hurt. You do all sorts of stuff to make the pain go away. After awhile, the heartbreak goes away, but it will always be there. And sometimes things that happen will remind you of how you got heartbroken in the first place. Is there such a thing as getting over someone completely?

Sometimes I imagine my whole life falling apart right in front of my eyes. It all seems so real that when I snap back to reality, the sting in my heart is still there. I even dream sometimes. Its scary to imagine the worst that could happen to you and at the same time, the worst seems so possible.

So appreciate everyone around you while you have them. For those who has family member who are long-term smokers, please ask them to go for a medical check-up. I know this post sounds like some ceramah but its true. I'm glad that my life is all in place, but hey, things can happen.

Take care everyone :D

The best of us can find happiness in misery

Currently Listening To : Angel in the Night - BassHunter
Currently Feeling : Brain Pain x|

"If I could dream at all, it would be about you. and I'm not ashamed of it."
- Edward Cullen

TWILIGHT MOVIE TRAILER IS OUT!!
WATCH WATCH WATCH HERE!
IT'S FREAKING AWESOME DON'T BE DUMB JUST CLICK OKAYY!

But honestly, I'm not sure if the link works. Here's another one, only it's got the stupid news guy messing up the whole thing. But the trailer is so effing exciting that my butt's itching to watch the movie asap :p

I've read Twilight last year already, when it first came out. But it seems the craze just only started recently, all the girls calling themselves Mrs. Cullen now. HAHA. Sorry, to me, he's just too good to be true. I'm on Team Jacob Black ♥

And I don't think Robert Pattinson fits Edward Cullen, he just doesn't seem hot enough. Sorry but really, I think James looked much much hotter. You should know who I'm talking about if you read the book like half the world already has ;)

Even so, I so cannot wait for the movie to be released. I can't wait to watch Edward Cullen in all his gooey mushy lovey thing for Bella, that lucky girl :D

I excepted Rosalie to be much hotter, I think lots of other people did too, oh well. I shall not complain anymore *zips*. And to add to the excitement, one of my favourite bands will be on the soundtrack. PARAMOREEEE! :)
Hahaha best best I can't wait :p

Anyway, I haven't been to school for 2 days, Wednesday and Thursday. I had a high fever on Wednesday and this killing pain at the back of my head which has been around for a few days now. It got worse on Thursday so I asked mummy to take me to the hospital for a check-up.

AND DID YOU KNOW THAT GOVERNMENT HOSPITALS ARE A HUGE BORE?
Mummy and I waited 2 hours just to see the doctor for 10 minutes! All she did was ask how I felt how long bla bla bla the usual stuff then said it's probably migraine from too much stress.
Hmmm, stress? Exams, maybe? But ohh well. I've got my painkillers and panadol, hopefully the pain will subside.
I spent the time waiting reading Eclipse again, and gossiping with mummy about all the people walking in and out of the emergency room. And there were a lot of kids too. I gave some of them my ChipsMore. Haha, I just love small kids, they really make my day :D

So, I'm really supposed to be studying for my exam since I skipped school for two days already. HAHA. Time to blow dust off my textbooks!

Bye everyone, take care and good luck once again ;)
P.S : I syg Aqil HAHA I tau you bace :D

Random Note : KFC Nuggets are just a w e s o m e! Especially when they're hot and soft. Oooh, I love those :D

hugs and kisses,
Dee Zaster :)

A girls heart is full of secrets.

Currently Listening to : Sweet Tangerine - The Hush Sound
Currently Feeling : Body-ache :|

"Maybe we like the pain. Maybe we're wired that way. Because without it.. I don't know, maybe we just wouldn't feel real. What's that saying? Why do I keep hitting myself with a hammer? Because it feels so good when I stop."
- Grey's Anatomy

Hello readers :D

I'm feeling kinda worn out now. I was out the whole day yesterday with friends and Aqil ;)
I went shopping with my sister before meeting up with our friends and I managed to buy a top from Dorothy Perkins. How jealous I am of all those rich bratty kids who can buy 4, 5 tops from each store. No offense to anyone, though. I'm just saying. I wanted to get so many stuff but hey, what can I do, right? Money takde :D

Anyway, I met up with Aqil and he looked so hott in his green shirt. HAHA.
Don't mind me :p
Haha, I love youu gedik. I know you're reading this! :)
And he got me this necklace with a "D" on it. He's sooo sweet!
ILY! ♥

So anyway, school's starting tmrw, and I'm just too lazy to go. But I will coz I miss all my friends. Haha. And school also means exams are coming up and hooray to that :|
I won't be online during the exam season coz my mum will be taking to modem away. So I'll update after the exams. Don't miss me :p

Ohh and I don't have to remind you why I don't have photos for this post, right? :(

Bye and take care. Nerd time people! :D

Random Note : I hate speed bumps on the highways.

Till next time,
denise :)

Cool isn't a one way street.

Currently Listening to : Paper Planes - M.I.A

Currently Feeling : Raya-ish?

I've spent so much time thinking about all the answers to the problem, that I forget what the problem actually was.
- Elizabethtown

I was reminiscing a few days ago, when I was looking through some photo albums that I kept by my bedside. They were dusty and all, but still, the images never faded. There were pictures of myself when I was just beginning to make my first few footsteps and even pictures of me in primary school. Ahh, those were the days. I can remember only a tad bit of those times. Most of them were pretty fun and definitely memorable (:

I remember my first day of primary school in Std. 1. My mum was registering me in and she was quite busy so she told me to stay put near the playground in the school. I remember watching this cute little Malay guy named Irfan climb the monkey bars with such ease that I got jealous. Plus, I noticed that he was really cute. My first school-girl crush :D He was in the same class as I was, 1 Dinamik. Little did I know that my classmates then were going to be my best friends throughout primary school, all the way to Std 6.

I remember a girl who always made my primary school life miserable. She always got her way in things and always knew how to manipulate everyone. She got everyone not to talk to me whenever she felt like it. And after awhile, she would start talking to me again, just because she felt like it. I always went home crying to my mum every time she started ignoring me again. This went on all through Std 1 till Std 4.

Fast forwarding two years, I remember a new girl coming in to our class, 3 Efisyen. I thought she looked much older than all of us. I had the empty seat next to me, so I was her first friend in that school. Whenever the girl mentioned above decided to ignore me again, this new girl was the only one that I could talk to. She didn't care about what others thought of her, she was just being a true friend to me. But I never really appreciated that.
I remember taking advantage of her whenever I was in need. I remember she would always, always be there for me. I remember saying bad stuff about her behind her back whenever I was with the "in" crowd again with the girl who controlled everyone.

In Std 4, I remember a new guy coming to our class. I was stricken by his looks the moment I saw him. We used to talk on the phone for hours even though we were only 10 years old. When he told me that he likes me after a few months, I panicked and didn't respond. Later after that, he decided to forget about me and went on to liking other girls instead. But I had liked this guy all the way to Std 6 but I never had the guts to tell him.

I remember we used to keep "diaries". Writing about our daily lives in log books then exchanging it with our friends to read. We used to share "diaries" too. These were the ones the boys were itching to get their hands on, so they could spread all our secrets. I remember that the guys used to have "diaries" too :D

I remember the first few of us who had our coming-of-age and how scared we were about having periods. I remember us getting excited about the guys whose voices just broken and started getting taller and better looking. I remember those guys who "matured" mentally earlier than all of us, talking about sex all the time, making the rest of us disgusted. I remember gambling in class, playing UNO and batu seremban. I remember the first couple in school. Everyone thought they were going to get married :) I remember the unwritten rule between all of us that girls and guys are not allowed to touch each other. We were like viruses to one another. I remember "the love board", a piece of wood that everyone wrote their crushes on. I remember playing police and thief. I remember loving and hating primary school :D

Recently, I met my ex-crush, the one from Std 4- Std 6. He still had that walk where he looked like he was in a rush to go somewhere. He still pushes his hair back without realizing it. He still had that cheeky smile on his face that can never seem to be erased. All this just reminded me of how much I used to like him, and how sure I was that I was going to spend the rest of my life with him back then. HAHA.
I also met the girl that I never appreciated properly. She is so mature now, so secure about herself. She's the kind of girl that knows what she wants and is proud of herself. She's an independent woman with nothing to fear. I'm so jealous of who she has grown to become. I miss her so much. D, you know who you are ♥

So yeah, that was pretty much a summary of my pathetic primary school life. I can't remember every bit of it, but the memory is so precious to me. I loved everyone in primary school. Some may somehow find a reason to still dislike me after so many years. I know I was not a very nice person or a true friend to many back then, but I've changed now. I mean, c'mon, it was primary school. I still do apologize to everyone of course, especially D.

Getting back to the present ;
Shoutout to Justina, sorry for making you wait for this post for so long :D
Good luck to all PMR candidates. PMR is kacang puteh compared to Form Four, okay!
And of course,

Selamat Hari Raya!

to everyone, Muslim or not ;)

Btw, I changed my Blogskin to something else if you haven't already noticed. It's just as simple as the previous one, only different. My profile, links and pretty much everything has been edited so do leave a comment at my tagboard, it's really stagnant! I also did Sam's blog, my sister, so go check it out. She's linked :D

Okay, I really have to try and get some sleep now. It's 6 am and I have a full day out planned tomorrow. This "insomnia" has got to stop. Exams are near and I need my rest! -.-
So, until next time!

Pictures :

This one is quite irrelevant. HAHA.

Benedict, Sue Aun, Deborah, Kartikeyan

Benedict, such a cutie :D

Kok Weng. Nerd then, hottie now.

Sue Aun & Debbie.

Kin Sun standing, Quan Yan who hardly ever seems to smile and half of Andrew

Sue Siang (not my age!), Ben, Chee Fai and Kieran

Sebastian, Sue Aun, Faiz and Sulaiman

Sheeesh I was such a nerd, LOL :D

Sebby & Debbie. AWWWW ;)

LeeYee, Denise, Michelle, Jocelyn, Shikin. BFFs? Not quite.

And of course there were much more of us, I just can't find their pictures. Sorry!

Random Note : I think the contestants in Amazing Race Asia 3 are seriously jakoon ;)

Toodles,
denise :D

I rock so hard, you roll :p

Currently Listening to : Skyway Avenue - We The Kings
Currently Feeling : Lethargic

At some point, you have to make a decision.
Boundaries,
don't keep other people out,
they fence you in.
Life is messy, that's how we're made.
So, you can waste your lives drawing lines,
or you can live your life crossing them.
- Grey's Anatomy

Before I start, I would just loooove to emphasize on how much I HATE sitting in a bus when there's no air-conditioner. Especially in the mornings when I've already combed my hair nicely in such a way that it'll keep the teachers quiet. But noooo, there are just some people who have to open the damn windows like there's no fucking tomorrow and let all the damp cold wind blow at our faces. NO, it's not comforting, its dirty, cold, smelly and it screws my hair up! I'm sorry but I've just got to let this out.

& now since's that's done,
Dinner with Aqil and my family was okay. No, actually it was perfect :D
My family loves him, as he was polite and had that perfect-kind-of-boyf attitude that I've never seen before. We watched the Liverpool vs Stoke City match in the house and my grandfather took him to the LRT Station to go home at about 11 plus. Everything was fine ;)

Ohhh btww the Chelsea vs Man Utd match was worth watching :D

And to sign off, Kylie's tag :

State 15 weird things/habits/little known facts about yourself.

1. I'm a huge fan of football. I play sometimes, but I watch more often. And I looooove Chelsea :D
2. I may/may not have insomnia.
3. I can't speak Chinese to save my ass but I can understand it. Especially when my family kutuks me depan-depan. HAHA.
4. I like using the internet in the dark. LOL.
5. Majority of my closer friends are Malays and I'm not ashamed to admit that.
6. I'm interested in politics.
7. I love pigging out in front of the TV.
8. My camera was stolen during Summer Splash 08 and I want it back :(
9. I want to travel the world, take pictures of cultures in different countries like India, China, Thailand, Africa and so on.
10. I want to help stop global warming.
11. I have eczema. Look it up.
12. I cry easily, even the soppiest commercials can make me tear.
13. I'm afraid of fire.
14. I used to take ballet for about 5 years but I couldn't stand it so I dropped it.
15. I like Malay guys but I can't stand Mat Rempits xD

And I tag,
No one :)
Coz I know people dislike doing tags nowadays. HAHA.

Adieu.

hold on to your words coz talk is cheap

Currently Listening To : Change - Taylor Swift
Currently Feeling : Very Hungry!

"The only logical reason that people talk about you
behind your back is because you're already ahead of them. "

Hey everyone. I'm sorry for not blogging for such a long time. Everyday I'm thinking, I should blog today but I just never got around to doing so. But anyway, here I am :D

Anyhoo, nothing much has happened these past 2 weeks. I went out with Aqil again, I studied in school like normal and just lived my life like every other teenager. I come online for about 4 hours a day, bang on my piano for about an hour or so, eat in front of the television while watching movie after movie, attempt to work out on the treadmill thingy, sing loudly on the shower and yeah. Basically, every day's the same.

I haven't been out at all! I want, no wait, scratch that. I NEED to go shopping. I'm so deprived of window shopping or splurging all my money on something that I don't need or that will be gathering dust in my closet. It's been 4 to 5 months since I bought something other than groceries for my mum. And since I've been complaining non-stop to Aqil, he promised he'll take me raya shopping this Saturday. Which is tmrw. YAAAAY! Hahaha :p He's the sweetest thing ever, always working both ways just to make me happy.

I'm also currently so addicted to The Academy Is... and We The Kings. They're brit pop bands and they just make awesome music. Check out their videos on YouTube or ask me for their best songs :p

And even though its the puasa month, I'm doing everything but puasa. HAHA. In fact, I've been pigging out more than ever. Breakfast, lunch, tea, dinner, supper and 3am snacks. Ice cream and chocolate cake, pasta, instant noodles, more ice cream, hot milo with Hup Seng crackers, mooncakes, chicken pies, char siew paus, chocolate and pretty much everything that's in my kitchen. And the bazaar Ramadhan is not helping either. I go down at least twice a week with my sister and we always come back with our hands full of plastic bags with kuihs in them. I'm getting fatter when I'm trying to slim down more :(

What's worse is tomorrow, I'm bringing Si Boyfriend to my aunt's house to buka puasa with my family. And he's going to get to see me gobble down all the yummy food my aunt never fails to prepare. Can't wait for that, eh -.- It's going to be awkward seeing him sitting at the dining table with Chinese people all around him eating food he probably hasn't seen in his life. But I'm sure it'll be fun. I hope. Haha.

And I've finally completed my zoo. Haha, no, I'm just kidding. What I mean is, in addition to my 4 year old dog which still looks like a puppy, I recently adopted a cat named Monkey and my sister bought a hamster named Sniffles. SUPER DUPER CUTE! Haha. And they all get along pretty well. At least they don't attempt to eat each other. I'll upload pictures of them soon, I promise.

And it's our one monthiversary whatever tomorrow! I'm so excited :p
Loads of stuff happening tmrw. HAHA.

Random Note : I MISS TAKING SHIT LOADS OF LAME SYOK SENDIRI PICTURES OF MYSELF! I want my camera back :(

xoxo,
denise(:

Make up your mind la!

Currently Listening to : Check Yes Juliet - We The Kings
Currently Feeling : Pissed Off.

SERIOUSLY, IGNORE THE HUGE JUGS AND FAT ARMS :D

Okay, so I finally got a chance to spend the whole day with Aqil and our friends. It was a lot of fun but that's not what I wanted to blog about today.

On the day I went out to meet Aqil, my dad insisted that he took me to KLCC and meet my boyfriend. And YES my parents finally agreed that I was old enough to have a steady boyfriend, as long as studies are first and we don't go over the line. And by that they meant sex. HAHA :)

But anywayyy, all I really cared about was thier approval of Aqil, and since my dad didn't complain much after meeting him, other than the fact that Aqil was Malay, I assumed he was okay with me dating Aqil. Now all was left was for my mum to meet him and for me to get her approval. In fact, I have no idea why I want their approval, I guess it just helps me sleep better at night.

So, from the day I told my parents about Aqil until the day my mum finally gets to meet him, this is what happens. She threatens me. How? Like for example, that night when I was on the phone with Aqil at about 1am plus, when it was a freaking weekend and the whole damn house was awake, she said that if Aqil continues calling at night like this, she'll get the wrong impression of him and I can forget about seeing him. I was seriously WTF-ed at that time.

Again, just now, (its5.30amnowI'llexplainlater) I was super savers-ing with Aqil when she walking in on us and said, "Denise, what did I say about talking on the phone in the middle of the night? Give me your phone now." So I had to hang up, and turn off my phone and give it to her. It's okay, I understand, it WAS my fault, after all. But the thing I can't stand most was that later, in her room, she told my sister the same thing.

"If Aqil continues calling in the middle of the night, I'm going to get the wrong impression of him" WTFFF I'm so phucking shit pissed off about this man.

Why? Look, if she really sincerely wants to give us her approval, then okay. But if she keeps saying stuff like that, it only seems like its an obligation on my part for her to give us her approval. I don't know if that makes sense but what I'm trying to say in simple words is, if she wants to like him, then like him. If she doesn't want to, then just say it to my face. I'm not rolling on the floor crying my eyes out for her approval, I just would appreciate it if I could get it. I don't understand why she has to give me such a hard time when all I want to do is just have some fun with a guy that I really really like.

Ohh and btw, about the part where I explain why it's 5.30am, I just had my braces done. My dentist changed the wires and they effing hurt like shit right now. I can't sleep at all plus the fact that Aqil is most probably freaking out as to why my phone's turned off without explanation :D

Forgetting everything, Aqil and I made plans to study at the National Library next weekend so I can pull up my grades. My mum said if I'm failing this year-end exams, she's taking away my phone and modem. No way that's happening man, I'll go crazy. So yeah, Aqil's offered to help me study coz did I mention that HE'S A FREAKING GENIUSSS?? He's got like almost straight A's for his mid-term exam. Shit you, Aqil. HAHAHAHA.

Ohhh and raya's coming up, he invited me to his house to meet his parents. HAHAHA takot oh ;D

the truth

Currently Listening to : Unbreakable - Fireflight
Currently Feeling : Very full o.O

Okay, I'm here to finally clear the air about my relationship with Hafis, the boy that I apparently loved so much, and who apparently loved me too.

The truth is :

I was a third person.

Yep, I was. I didn't want to be. I felt disgusted with myself the whole time. I knew it would just kill the other girl. But he promised he would leave her, and I was naive enough to trust him and became vulnerable to all his words. I did many things for our relationship to work. None of which I will mention. But NOOO it had nothing to do with sex okay. HAHAHA.

But anyway, he never really treated me nicely. I was constantly crying myself to sleep like an idiot, thinking about the last hurtful remark he made at me. We hardly spoke to each other, and when we did it was only briefly. We didn't message much coz he didn't like texting. I can go on and on about why we weren't a happy couple.

After two months together, I knew it in my heart that he won't leave her. So I ended it. Being a third person in his relationship took a huge emotional toll on me. What was worse is that I could see his girlfriend writing all those sad stuff about him cheating on her on her MySpace. And I could imagine the hurt I would feel if I were in her shoes.

So yeah, I left him. And now he hates me. Well I can't blame him really. I DID promise never to leave him bla bla bla but I just couldn't take the way he was treating me and also the fact that he was probably using me to break up with his girlfriend. So yeah, he hates me, and never wants to see my face ever again. He also regrets knowing me and he'll never want to meet anyone like me again. I'm a liar, and can never be trusted again. And NO, there's no way we shall ever be friends again.

Damn, I must suck big time.

All those things he said to me after the break up really hurt me and bruised my big fat ego so I cried quite a lot. But there was this guy who was there for me. He called me and talked to me and assured me that everything was going to be okay.

He's been a friend for almost 6 months but we've never met. He's really sweet and the most caring person I know. So we finally decided to meet up. He turned out to be really tall, nicely built, sweet smile, blurrish face, cute hair. HAHAHA. Okay, getting to the point.

He said he has had a crush on me for a long long time. And honestly? I felt the same for him, I just didn't realise it.

Oh and guess what? He asked me to be his girlfriend and kissed me after that ;DDD
I can't tell you how happy I was :)

So yeah, you may think whatever it is you want to think of me, but yes, I have a new boyfriend. Mohammad Aqil, you're the only one for me.

where were my true friends? :|

Currently Listening to : Cobra Starship - Guilty Pleasure on repeat
Currently Feeling : Hungry :O

I LOVE this song :)

"I came here to make you dance tonight
I don't care about my guilty pleasure for you
shut up cause we won't stop
and we're getting down till the sun's coming up"


Everything's back to normal.
Thank God.
I guess I was just being silly.

Photography with the help of Rafiq was done in a week.
Lucky he had the sudden need of studying, therefore rushing to finish photography.
Thanks, man, we make an awesome team :D

And things with the boyf are much much better.
We're back to normal.
I'm hoping I can see him really soon cos I miss him loaaads.
I love you, sayang :)

And with my friend, he finally called me :D
I guess he missed me as much as I miss him.
I'm was really glad he called.

So, everything's fine now.
But I wanna "thank" all my friends who had been there for me.
And that would make..

NONE.
Yeah, I'm just as surprised that the people I expected to call, or message or IM me, didn't do so.
Not even to ask how I was feeling or lend a shoulder.
I guess I DON'T really have any true friends.
Or maybe some are just too busy with their own lives that they couldn't care less.
Well, I couldn't be bothered. Thanks for being such "true" friends.
You people KNOW who you are.

But, there were people who I didn't expect to care, cared.
They were really nice, doing everything they could to understand me, even though they didn't know me well.
Thanks people, I owe you one.

So, I found out who my true friends were, and I didn't really like the results.
Oh well, I guess life isn't fair.