Hey hi hello,
Sigh. Over two months since my last post & I can't help but feel that I'm such a useless blogger.
Things have definitely changed since then. For starters, I'm now twenty. As I was logging into my account, I saw an unpublished post that I had started on a few days before my birthday. Too late for that now I suppose. It spoke of unknown expectations that are attached with being two decades and older. I must say that being twenty didn't really change anything. I'm still me, except with higher expectations for myself, regarding what I can and am expected to achieve.
I went through a pretty rough patch in just the two short months, especially in my relationship. Yes, the long distance one. No relationship & no human being is perfect, and I admit I made a mistake. I'm trying to fix what I did and hopefully we'll work things out. I really don't see how we can put aside a year and (almost) a half of amazing memories and just move on with our lives just like that. Hey Arfu, if you're reading this, I love you & I'm not letting you go, baby ;)
I was broke for a very long time, and since my parents don't really give me allowance because I started working, I had to survive on one meal a day at times. I spent all my free time at work, and the rest on classes, club duties & assignments. I barely saw anyone, except for when had breaks in college & was mostly at work or at home. I don't mean to sound like a whining self-pitying crybaby, but it was truly a tough time for me. I only have a handful of friends to thank for being my shoulder (and wallet at times) who really were the reasons why I didn't break down into nothingness. You guys know who you are.
Recently however, things have started to look up. I think things are patching up with the boyfriend and I, and I guess all things heal with time. My Grapevine team and I pulled off a superb pyjama party in college & had amazing turnout and response. The laughter that rang in the Experimental Theater & the screams of joy/fear during the scary movie made me happy that I brought all that together. Besides that, after two months of seemingly small paychecks, the amount that was in my bank account yesterday night had me gaping at the ATM. Of course, I went out to pamper myself with a (little) retail therapy.
Keep going. That's all I can say. If you're reading this and you're going through a bad time, just. keep. going. You'll never know when the coin will flip & your struggles just might disappear. Take comfort in the little things around you - from the people around you who care for you, to the random smile a stranger gave you and even to a good night out with amazing music. Let those things be your fuel and fire, in hope of better days ahead. I do apologize for the lack of creativity in words and the excessive use of cliches, by the way.
I'll end my little pep talk here with two (shamelessly narcissistic, edited & filtered) photos of the kind of smile you would want to have everyday.
Au revoir.
#nowplaying; She Wolf (Falling to Pieces) ft Sia - David Guetta
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